Messy As Hell

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On sale Jan 12, 2027 | 12 Hours and 0 Minutes | 9798217354993

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CAUTION! All employees must correctly dispose of otherworldly biohazards found on Dark Enterprises property. Failure to comply may result in one hell of a mess...

"If a door is closed, you leave it alone."

That's the one rule janitor, Sam, is given when he starts cleaning the infamous thirteenth floor of the Denver branch of Hell-like multinational corporation Dark Enterprises.

Sam is thrilled to be that much closer to his idol, Constantine Galanos, Denver’s ruthless and charming CEO, but he's even more excited to uncover the tantalizing secrets lurking up on the executive level. Maybe he’ll find something juicier than tawdry workplace affairs and petty office gossip, something he can share with his closest friends, daredevil Mia and secret crush Calvin.

When Sam comes across a closed door his first day on the job, he thinks one little peek can't hurt. But he’s dead wrong. Behind that door is a Type A biohazard—infernal materials from Hell on company property—and a deal that could spell doom for Dark Enterprises and Earth...signed by the CEO himself.

Sam is in deep trouble now, and the problems keep piling up. The CEO's homicidal assistant wants him fired (read: killed), Calvin is literally losing his mind over a secret project, and there’s something very unusual about Mia’s emotional-support rabbit, Mr. Bun-Bun…

It’s a mess like no other, but Sam is a janitor at Dark Enterprises. If he can’t save humanity and the man of his dreams, no one can.
Praise for Messy As Hell

"Delightfully unhinged and cheerfully macabre, Mark Waddell's newest book takes cozy corporate horror to the ninth 'circle back' of hell. Sam the janitor's story is full of wordplay, shenanigans, dark rituals, and a friends-to-lovers romance that will mop you off your feet. Messy As Hell is fun as hell."
Emily Krempholtz, USA Today bestselling author of Violet Thistlewaite Is Not a Villain Anymore

Messy As Hell is tons of fun, dark sorcery and the legions of hell against janitorial prowess and one cute rabbit. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like working for the evil corporation, this is the book for you.”
—Django Wexler
, author of How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying

"A fun read with a very important life lesson: Don't f*** with the janitor!"
Jim C. Hines, author of the Janitors of the Post-Apocalypse trilogy

“With puns aplenty, a swoony romance, and one adorable (and very normal) bunny, Messy As Hell delivers more of Waddell’s trademark humor and heart. We were instantly swept away by the delightful chaos of infernal corporate plots and characters who spill off the page. It’s one hell of a ride.”
Kat Hillis and Rosiee Thor, co-authors of the Dead & Breakfast Mysteries

Praise for Colin Gets Promoted and Dooms the World

"The humor throughout this novel is delightfully witty in a way that fans of dry satire will greatly enjoy. Filled with top-notch worldbuilding, entertaining antagonists, and tongue-in-cheek charm...this novel is not to be missed for fans of urban fantasy that gently toes the horror line. A charming corporate horror novel with a whole lot of heart."
Kirkus (starred review)

“Most readers won’t have experienced as much workplace death, dismemberment, or eldritch horror as Colin, but this underdog revenge fantasy is for anyone who has been bullied, ignored, or taken advantage of.”
Library Journal

"This book is anything but another day at the office. Charmingly twisted and twistedly charming, Colin Gets Promoted and Dooms the World is as timely and poignant as it is witty and imaginative."
Maxie Dara, author of A Grim Reaper's Guide to Catching a Killer

"If you want your moral centre to be gleefully eroded by indefensible characters, selfish love, and literally cutthroat office politics, this is the vice for you."
Natalie Zina Walschots, author of Hench

“Waddell delivers the perfect balance of humor, chaos, and horror into a terrific page-turning narrative.”
Criminal Element

"With plenty of jokes about shady executives, corporate drudgery, and ritual sacrifice, Waddell has created a romp that will have readers wondering how Colin will get himself and the world out of the mess he's created...hilarious contemporary fantasy."
Shelf Awareness

“The blend of corporate satire with eldritch horror made for a sharp, entertaining fusion that felt both absurd and uncomfortably fitting.”
Game Vortex

"This book was a whole lot of fun!"
FanFiAddict
© Photo by Vivienne McMaster
Mark Waddell grew up on the cold, windswept prairies of western Canada and later earned a Ph.D. in the history of science, medicine, and technology from the Johns Hopkins University. After teaching at Michigan State University for fifteen years, he and his husband moved to Vancouver Island. When not writing, he plays the viola in the Civic Orchestra of Victoria, walks his dogs on the beach, and slays fearsome monsters in Dungeons & Dragons. View titles by Mark Waddell

About

CAUTION! All employees must correctly dispose of otherworldly biohazards found on Dark Enterprises property. Failure to comply may result in one hell of a mess...

"If a door is closed, you leave it alone."

That's the one rule janitor, Sam, is given when he starts cleaning the infamous thirteenth floor of the Denver branch of Hell-like multinational corporation Dark Enterprises.

Sam is thrilled to be that much closer to his idol, Constantine Galanos, Denver’s ruthless and charming CEO, but he's even more excited to uncover the tantalizing secrets lurking up on the executive level. Maybe he’ll find something juicier than tawdry workplace affairs and petty office gossip, something he can share with his closest friends, daredevil Mia and secret crush Calvin.

When Sam comes across a closed door his first day on the job, he thinks one little peek can't hurt. But he’s dead wrong. Behind that door is a Type A biohazard—infernal materials from Hell on company property—and a deal that could spell doom for Dark Enterprises and Earth...signed by the CEO himself.

Sam is in deep trouble now, and the problems keep piling up. The CEO's homicidal assistant wants him fired (read: killed), Calvin is literally losing his mind over a secret project, and there’s something very unusual about Mia’s emotional-support rabbit, Mr. Bun-Bun…

It’s a mess like no other, but Sam is a janitor at Dark Enterprises. If he can’t save humanity and the man of his dreams, no one can.

Reviews

Praise for Messy As Hell

"Delightfully unhinged and cheerfully macabre, Mark Waddell's newest book takes cozy corporate horror to the ninth 'circle back' of hell. Sam the janitor's story is full of wordplay, shenanigans, dark rituals, and a friends-to-lovers romance that will mop you off your feet. Messy As Hell is fun as hell."
Emily Krempholtz, USA Today bestselling author of Violet Thistlewaite Is Not a Villain Anymore

Messy As Hell is tons of fun, dark sorcery and the legions of hell against janitorial prowess and one cute rabbit. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like working for the evil corporation, this is the book for you.”
—Django Wexler
, author of How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying

"A fun read with a very important life lesson: Don't f*** with the janitor!"
Jim C. Hines, author of the Janitors of the Post-Apocalypse trilogy

“With puns aplenty, a swoony romance, and one adorable (and very normal) bunny, Messy As Hell delivers more of Waddell’s trademark humor and heart. We were instantly swept away by the delightful chaos of infernal corporate plots and characters who spill off the page. It’s one hell of a ride.”
Kat Hillis and Rosiee Thor, co-authors of the Dead & Breakfast Mysteries

Praise for Colin Gets Promoted and Dooms the World

"The humor throughout this novel is delightfully witty in a way that fans of dry satire will greatly enjoy. Filled with top-notch worldbuilding, entertaining antagonists, and tongue-in-cheek charm...this novel is not to be missed for fans of urban fantasy that gently toes the horror line. A charming corporate horror novel with a whole lot of heart."
Kirkus (starred review)

“Most readers won’t have experienced as much workplace death, dismemberment, or eldritch horror as Colin, but this underdog revenge fantasy is for anyone who has been bullied, ignored, or taken advantage of.”
Library Journal

"This book is anything but another day at the office. Charmingly twisted and twistedly charming, Colin Gets Promoted and Dooms the World is as timely and poignant as it is witty and imaginative."
Maxie Dara, author of A Grim Reaper's Guide to Catching a Killer

"If you want your moral centre to be gleefully eroded by indefensible characters, selfish love, and literally cutthroat office politics, this is the vice for you."
Natalie Zina Walschots, author of Hench

“Waddell delivers the perfect balance of humor, chaos, and horror into a terrific page-turning narrative.”
Criminal Element

"With plenty of jokes about shady executives, corporate drudgery, and ritual sacrifice, Waddell has created a romp that will have readers wondering how Colin will get himself and the world out of the mess he's created...hilarious contemporary fantasy."
Shelf Awareness

“The blend of corporate satire with eldritch horror made for a sharp, entertaining fusion that felt both absurd and uncomfortably fitting.”
Game Vortex

"This book was a whole lot of fun!"
FanFiAddict

Author

© Photo by Vivienne McMaster
Mark Waddell grew up on the cold, windswept prairies of western Canada and later earned a Ph.D. in the history of science, medicine, and technology from the Johns Hopkins University. After teaching at Michigan State University for fifteen years, he and his husband moved to Vancouver Island. When not writing, he plays the viola in the Civic Orchestra of Victoria, walks his dogs on the beach, and slays fearsome monsters in Dungeons & Dragons. View titles by Mark Waddell
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