Being with Dying

Cultivating Compassion and Fearlessness in the Presence of Death

Afterword by Frank Ostaseski
Look inside
Inspiring teachings, personal stories, and meditations for those near death and their caregivers, by a respected Zen teacher who has worked with the dying for over 30 years.

Everyone who lives must inevitably face death. Inspired by traditional Buddhist teachings and decades of work with the dying and their caregivers, this landmark work on death and dying by beloved Buddhist teacher Joan Halifax is a source of wisdom for all those who are charged with a dying person’s care, facing their own death, or wishing to explore and contemplate the transformative power of the dying process. Relevant and powerful for people of all backgrounds, her teachings affirm that all of us can open and contact our inner strength even in the face of death, and that we can help others who are suffering to do the same.

Halifax observes that millions will have to deal with the loss of parents and loved ones and that we are largely unprepared emotionally for their deaths. She presents the notion that the process of dying is a rite of passage. Halifax offers stories from her personal experience as well as guided exercises and contemplations to help readers contemplate death without fear, develop a commitment to helping others, and transform suffering and resistance into courage. Topics and exercises include:

  • Learning to see death as a rite of passage
  • The guiding principles of bearing witness and how self-awareness can help us to relate more fully with others
  • How to take care of ourselves when we’re taking care of others
  • Contemplation on the universality of death
  • How to transform pain and fear with lovingkindness

Coupled with a new foreword by Frank Ostaseski, a leader in the field of death and dying palliative care, the guidance and experiences represented in Being with Dying are invaluable in supporting and instilling peace as the journey of life unfolds and inevitably reaches not only an end, but also a new beginning.
“A moving meditation on palliative care. . . . A supremely readable book [that] will attract readers of all faiths who will appreciate her clarity and compassion and the poignancy of these stories of ordinary people facing their final hours with quiet courage.”
Publishers Weekly

“This book is a gift of wisdom and practical guidance for living.”
Ira Byock, MD, author of  Dying Well and The Four Things That Matter Most

“Joan Halifax has a knack for straight talk and sublime insight—a no-holds-barred approach to life's greatest challenge, dying well. This book beckons to those who dare, and those who care; it's a profound and practical guidebook to the inevitable final dance.”
Daniel Goleman, author of  Emotional Intelligence

“Joan Halifax has taken the great matter of death and dying and woven a tapestry of stories, wisdom, and practical advice for care of the dying—all against a background of compassion.”
Charles R. Lewis, MD, Medical Director, Inpatient Care Center, San Diego Hospice and Palliative Care

“This book picks up where many books about palliative care end, by giving us a sense of the possibilities offered by an encounter with a dying person. Joan Halifax gives us a map of territory not usually mentioned in medical discussions about dying. Her book deserves to be read by clinicians who take care of people with life-threatening illnesses, from the beginning of their journey through the last moments of life and beyond.”
Anthony Back, MD, Seattle Cancer Care Alliance

“Joan Halifax guides us in receiving the grace and healing of abiding in the present moment as the balm for our fears, anger, grief, and sadness. She is a masterful teacher, wise sage, and mentor for dying people, their families, and professional caregivers.”
Cynda Hylton Rushton, PhD, RN, John Hopkins University and Children's Center

“This beautiful book is both a gentle comfort and a fierce guide to the experience of living, of which death is simply a part. Joan Halifax poignantly and generously offers the wisdom and practices she embodies. A gift beyond measure.”
Margaret J. Wheatley, PhD, author of Leadership and the New Science

“Through the lens of Halifax’s discussion of death, even the most devoted yogis will be able to deepen their experience of presence in everyday life.”
Eric Larson, Whole Life Times

“This compelling, brave, and wise book draws from a lifetime of remarkable work with people at the end of life.”
Andrew Weil, MD
Joan Halifax, PhD, is a Zen priest and anthropologist who has served on the faculty of Columbia University and the University of Miami School of Medicine. For the past thirty years she has worked with dying people and has lectured on the subject of death and dying at Harvard Divinity School, Harvard Medical School, Georgetown Medical School, and many other academic institutions. In 1990, she founded Upaya Zen Center, a Buddhist study and social action center in Santa Fe, New Mexico. In 1994, she founded the Project on Being with Dying, which has trained hundreds of healthcare professionals in the contemplative care of dying people.

About

Inspiring teachings, personal stories, and meditations for those near death and their caregivers, by a respected Zen teacher who has worked with the dying for over 30 years.

Everyone who lives must inevitably face death. Inspired by traditional Buddhist teachings and decades of work with the dying and their caregivers, this landmark work on death and dying by beloved Buddhist teacher Joan Halifax is a source of wisdom for all those who are charged with a dying person’s care, facing their own death, or wishing to explore and contemplate the transformative power of the dying process. Relevant and powerful for people of all backgrounds, her teachings affirm that all of us can open and contact our inner strength even in the face of death, and that we can help others who are suffering to do the same.

Halifax observes that millions will have to deal with the loss of parents and loved ones and that we are largely unprepared emotionally for their deaths. She presents the notion that the process of dying is a rite of passage. Halifax offers stories from her personal experience as well as guided exercises and contemplations to help readers contemplate death without fear, develop a commitment to helping others, and transform suffering and resistance into courage. Topics and exercises include:

  • Learning to see death as a rite of passage
  • The guiding principles of bearing witness and how self-awareness can help us to relate more fully with others
  • How to take care of ourselves when we’re taking care of others
  • Contemplation on the universality of death
  • How to transform pain and fear with lovingkindness

Coupled with a new foreword by Frank Ostaseski, a leader in the field of death and dying palliative care, the guidance and experiences represented in Being with Dying are invaluable in supporting and instilling peace as the journey of life unfolds and inevitably reaches not only an end, but also a new beginning.

Reviews

“A moving meditation on palliative care. . . . A supremely readable book [that] will attract readers of all faiths who will appreciate her clarity and compassion and the poignancy of these stories of ordinary people facing their final hours with quiet courage.”
Publishers Weekly

“This book is a gift of wisdom and practical guidance for living.”
Ira Byock, MD, author of  Dying Well and The Four Things That Matter Most

“Joan Halifax has a knack for straight talk and sublime insight—a no-holds-barred approach to life's greatest challenge, dying well. This book beckons to those who dare, and those who care; it's a profound and practical guidebook to the inevitable final dance.”
Daniel Goleman, author of  Emotional Intelligence

“Joan Halifax has taken the great matter of death and dying and woven a tapestry of stories, wisdom, and practical advice for care of the dying—all against a background of compassion.”
Charles R. Lewis, MD, Medical Director, Inpatient Care Center, San Diego Hospice and Palliative Care

“This book picks up where many books about palliative care end, by giving us a sense of the possibilities offered by an encounter with a dying person. Joan Halifax gives us a map of territory not usually mentioned in medical discussions about dying. Her book deserves to be read by clinicians who take care of people with life-threatening illnesses, from the beginning of their journey through the last moments of life and beyond.”
Anthony Back, MD, Seattle Cancer Care Alliance

“Joan Halifax guides us in receiving the grace and healing of abiding in the present moment as the balm for our fears, anger, grief, and sadness. She is a masterful teacher, wise sage, and mentor for dying people, their families, and professional caregivers.”
Cynda Hylton Rushton, PhD, RN, John Hopkins University and Children's Center

“This beautiful book is both a gentle comfort and a fierce guide to the experience of living, of which death is simply a part. Joan Halifax poignantly and generously offers the wisdom and practices she embodies. A gift beyond measure.”
Margaret J. Wheatley, PhD, author of Leadership and the New Science

“Through the lens of Halifax’s discussion of death, even the most devoted yogis will be able to deepen their experience of presence in everyday life.”
Eric Larson, Whole Life Times

“This compelling, brave, and wise book draws from a lifetime of remarkable work with people at the end of life.”
Andrew Weil, MD

Author

Joan Halifax, PhD, is a Zen priest and anthropologist who has served on the faculty of Columbia University and the University of Miami School of Medicine. For the past thirty years she has worked with dying people and has lectured on the subject of death and dying at Harvard Divinity School, Harvard Medical School, Georgetown Medical School, and many other academic institutions. In 1990, she founded Upaya Zen Center, a Buddhist study and social action center in Santa Fe, New Mexico. In 1994, she founded the Project on Being with Dying, which has trained hundreds of healthcare professionals in the contemplative care of dying people.