Parent Yourself First

Raise Confident, Compassionate Kids by Becoming the Parent You Wish You'd Had

A fresh, no-nonsense parenting guide that shows you how to become a great parent (even if you didn’t have one yourself).

Many of us didn’t have a perfect childhood. But it’s never too late (or too early!) to transform into the parent you were always meant to be—grounded, present, intentional, compassionate, and confident. In Parent Yourself First, licensed marriage and family therapist Bryana Kappadakunnel argues that the secret to successful parenting is to UN-learn the wounded patterns you grew up with and create new ways to connect with your child. Parenting from a place of connection may feel unlike anything you experienced as a child or what you thought parenting was meant to be. But the results can be remarkable—and transformative.

As the founder of the popular Conscious Mommy community on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok, Kappadakunnel explains that your upbringing is probably impacting your parenting style in ways you don’t even fully recognize, from how you manage your own emotions to how you connect with your kids in their vulnerable moments. In Parent Yourself First, she shares powerful stories from the families she’s counseled and practical tools for managing common parenting woes like tantrums and defiance. Her promise: You can break free of past patterns that no longer serve you and liberate your soul from old traumas and wounds.

Everyone has baggage. But it’s your responsibility to make sure your baggage doesn’t become your child’s problem. Healing yourself allows you to truly connect with your child; understand their needs; and guide them to live the happy, authentic life that they deserve.
"Parent Yourself First is not only thought provoking and insightful, it is warm, hopeful, and practical. This book is a cycle breaker's almanac, it helps parents heal from the pain of their past and create a present and future reality that their children won't have to heal from." —Eli Harwood, author of Raising Securely Attached Kids

“So many parents are worried they’re going to repeat the mistakes their own parents made. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Wise, warm, and encouraging, Parent Yourself First shows that never too late to transform into the parent you were always meant to be.” —Dr. Michele Borba, author of Thrivers

“For everyone whose parents are examples of what NOT to do, this is the resource you’ve been looking for to learn what you, as a parent, CAN do.” —Gwenna Laithland, author of Momma Cusses

"This handy book is filled with many practical suggestions and psychological insights for parents to work through their own emotional hardships in order to best help their child through life’s challenges. It’s a critical tool and introspective for parents who want to to heal and grow from past experiences." —Library Journal (starred review)

"Parents seeking creative new ways to recognize and break free of toxic patterns from their own childhoods will find plenty of useful information here that will help them end family power struggles, navigate their children’s stress and anxiety, deal with sibling relationships, and understand common childhood behaviors like tantrums and defiance. Thoughtful, reflective, and nonjudgmental, this will be a welcome addition to all parenting collections." —Booklist

Parent Yourself First isn't just about wanting to parent differently, it's about knowing how to do it. This practical guide tackles the emotional hurdles we encounter in parenting and offers clear steps for change. It's the bridge between having good intentions and actually being equipped to show up as the parent you want to be.” —Erica Djossa, CEO & Founder of Momwell, author of Releasing the Mother Load

“For anyone looking to break free from generational trauma and truly connect with their children, Parent Yourself First is a wonderful resource. Bryana’s dedication to helping parents navigate their own healing journey so they can be fully present and attuned to their children’s needs is inspiring and essential. This book is a must-read for every parent committed to raising happy, healthy children." —Dr. Judy Ho, author of The New Rules of Attachment and Stop Self-Sabotage

“This book highlights the profound work of parenthood and makes it seem surmountable. Bryana writes in a non-judgmental way that makes us feel normal in our feelings and supports us in wanting to dig in to understand and love ourselves more. With a direct and comforting tone and practical advice, Parent Yourself First compels us to take the small steps that could have the most significant impact.” —Neha Ruch, founder of Mother Untitled and author of The Power Pause
© Trish Olivera of The Boho House
Bryana Kappadakunnel is a licensed marriage and family therapist, an infant/early childhood mental health specialist, and a perinatal mental health specialist. She has an MA in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University and is the CEO and founder of Conscious Mommy and Child Parent Connection. View titles by Bryana Kappadakunnel

About

A fresh, no-nonsense parenting guide that shows you how to become a great parent (even if you didn’t have one yourself).

Many of us didn’t have a perfect childhood. But it’s never too late (or too early!) to transform into the parent you were always meant to be—grounded, present, intentional, compassionate, and confident. In Parent Yourself First, licensed marriage and family therapist Bryana Kappadakunnel argues that the secret to successful parenting is to UN-learn the wounded patterns you grew up with and create new ways to connect with your child. Parenting from a place of connection may feel unlike anything you experienced as a child or what you thought parenting was meant to be. But the results can be remarkable—and transformative.

As the founder of the popular Conscious Mommy community on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok, Kappadakunnel explains that your upbringing is probably impacting your parenting style in ways you don’t even fully recognize, from how you manage your own emotions to how you connect with your kids in their vulnerable moments. In Parent Yourself First, she shares powerful stories from the families she’s counseled and practical tools for managing common parenting woes like tantrums and defiance. Her promise: You can break free of past patterns that no longer serve you and liberate your soul from old traumas and wounds.

Everyone has baggage. But it’s your responsibility to make sure your baggage doesn’t become your child’s problem. Healing yourself allows you to truly connect with your child; understand their needs; and guide them to live the happy, authentic life that they deserve.

Reviews

"Parent Yourself First is not only thought provoking and insightful, it is warm, hopeful, and practical. This book is a cycle breaker's almanac, it helps parents heal from the pain of their past and create a present and future reality that their children won't have to heal from." —Eli Harwood, author of Raising Securely Attached Kids

“So many parents are worried they’re going to repeat the mistakes their own parents made. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Wise, warm, and encouraging, Parent Yourself First shows that never too late to transform into the parent you were always meant to be.” —Dr. Michele Borba, author of Thrivers

“For everyone whose parents are examples of what NOT to do, this is the resource you’ve been looking for to learn what you, as a parent, CAN do.” —Gwenna Laithland, author of Momma Cusses

"This handy book is filled with many practical suggestions and psychological insights for parents to work through their own emotional hardships in order to best help their child through life’s challenges. It’s a critical tool and introspective for parents who want to to heal and grow from past experiences." —Library Journal (starred review)

"Parents seeking creative new ways to recognize and break free of toxic patterns from their own childhoods will find plenty of useful information here that will help them end family power struggles, navigate their children’s stress and anxiety, deal with sibling relationships, and understand common childhood behaviors like tantrums and defiance. Thoughtful, reflective, and nonjudgmental, this will be a welcome addition to all parenting collections." —Booklist

Parent Yourself First isn't just about wanting to parent differently, it's about knowing how to do it. This practical guide tackles the emotional hurdles we encounter in parenting and offers clear steps for change. It's the bridge between having good intentions and actually being equipped to show up as the parent you want to be.” —Erica Djossa, CEO & Founder of Momwell, author of Releasing the Mother Load

“For anyone looking to break free from generational trauma and truly connect with their children, Parent Yourself First is a wonderful resource. Bryana’s dedication to helping parents navigate their own healing journey so they can be fully present and attuned to their children’s needs is inspiring and essential. This book is a must-read for every parent committed to raising happy, healthy children." —Dr. Judy Ho, author of The New Rules of Attachment and Stop Self-Sabotage

“This book highlights the profound work of parenthood and makes it seem surmountable. Bryana writes in a non-judgmental way that makes us feel normal in our feelings and supports us in wanting to dig in to understand and love ourselves more. With a direct and comforting tone and practical advice, Parent Yourself First compels us to take the small steps that could have the most significant impact.” —Neha Ruch, founder of Mother Untitled and author of The Power Pause

Author

© Trish Olivera of The Boho House
Bryana Kappadakunnel is a licensed marriage and family therapist, an infant/early childhood mental health specialist, and a perinatal mental health specialist. She has an MA in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University and is the CEO and founder of Conscious Mommy and Child Parent Connection. View titles by Bryana Kappadakunnel