The Monogamy Prize

How an American in Paris Found Her Game

A marriage memoir from the bestselling author of Bringing Up Bébé

On the eve of her fiftieth birthday, Pamela Druckerman’s life has stalled. She was in her early thirties when she moved to Paris, married a dashing fellow journalist, and became a celebrated author. Yet now, it’s her husband who churns out a book a year and wears earplugs around the house. Her adolescent children are more French than American, and her Parisian neighbors haven’t gotten any more welcoming. Once a prolific writer, she has slipped in status to her family’s head of purchasing and quality control.

Tired of feeling unappreciated—and tempted by an unexpected offer from a man from her past—Druckerman decides to try on the famously flexible French approach to monogamy (“What is fidelity, really? Isn’t it to be true to yourself?”). She grants herself a one-off fiftieth birthday present: a secret afternoon with “the banker.”

What ensues is more than she ever expected. Is this radical self-care or relationship suicide? Have honesty-obsessed Americans been approaching coupledom all wrong? Can an American in Paris ever truly become French?

The Monogamy Prize is a disarmingly intimate and deeply funny account of one woman’s passage and a bold exploration of the rules of modern marriage.
“Druckerman’s voice is intelligent, charming, witty, and downright funny. It’s like hanging out with a friend over a long, boozy lunch where everyone ends up revealing a little more than they thought they would, but it’s so much fun you can’t wait for the next date.” —Molly Ringwald, actor and author

“Pamela Druckerman has topped herself with this one! She’s always been very good at synthesizing gravity and levity, with a sharp sense of the power of humor to bear us through all of life’s strange twists and disappointments. Here that talent is sharpened, and cutting, like never before. Now it’s as if one of the more colorful characters of Balzac’s The Human Comedy has come alive, but as a character endowed with the one power that great Parisian chronicler always held back from his own creations: deep and real self-knowledge.” —Justin Smith-Ruiu, professor of history and philosophy of science, Université Paris Cité, and author of On Drugs

“God I love this book so much. I burst out laughing at least once a page. The Monogamy Prize is the most delightful, hilarious, sweetly profound book I have read in years. I loved absolutely every word, paragraph, and chapter. Open it right now and read the first sentence, but make sure you have a little time on your hands because you’re not going to put it down until you’re done.” —Ayelet Waldman, author of A Perfect Hand

The Monogamy Prize is a celebration of aging and self-discovery and even of matrimony (if you squint your eyes). I guarantee it will make you laugh and make you think and, quite possibly, cheat on your spouse. It’s Pamela Druckerman’s most intimate book yet and also just so much fun to read.” —Nathan Englander, author of For the Relief of Unbearable Urges

The Monogamy Prize is about the elasticity of marriage, about roads not taken (and then taken), yet it also circles a more unexpected question: Where is home? What lusts and loves, what promises and commitments, what dreams both dashed and revived define the place that you always return to?” —Heidi Julavits, founding editor of The Believer and PEN New England Award–winning author of The Vanishers

“Druckerman is incapable of writing an unfunny sentence. But like all the best humor, this has a thoughtful edge as she navigates her multicultural midlife crisis past the sultry sirens of extra marital sex—and tennis.” —Peter Godwin, author of Exit Wounds

Praise for BRINGING UP BÉBÉ:

“Marvelous . . . Like Julia Child, who translated the secrets of French cuisine, Druckerman has investigated and distilled the essentials of French child-rearing. . . . Druckerman provides fascinating details about French sleep training, feeding schedules and family rituals. But her book's real pleasures spring from her funny, self-deprecating stories. Like the principles she examines, Druckerman isn't doctrinaire.” —NPR

Praise for THERE ARE NO GROWN-UPS:

“There has been remarkably little good writing about this thorny topic but here, with excellent timing, comes Pamela Druckerman’s pitch-perfect and brutally frank There Are No Grown-Ups. . . . She has a reckless candor that can make you laugh and gasp at the same time. . . . As Nora Ephron said, “Everything is copy.” For those of us who regard “I Feel Bad About My Neck” as a bible for the midlife woman, Ephron is simply irreplaceable, but Druckerman is the heir to her impish, unembarrassable spirit and adorable storytelling.” —The New York Times Book Review
© Dmitry Kostyukov
Pamela Druckerman is a journalist and the author of five books including Bringing Up Bébé, which has been translated into thirty-one languages and optioned as a feature film. She wrote the Dress Code column for The Economist’s 1843 magazine, and a monthly column about France for The New York Times, where she won an Emmy and an Overseas Press Club award. Her work has also appeared in The Atlantic, Harper’s Magazine, The New York Review of Books, and The Wall Street Journal. Her most recent book is There Are No Grown-Ups: A Midlife Coming-of-Age Story. View titles by Pamela Druckerman

About

A marriage memoir from the bestselling author of Bringing Up Bébé

On the eve of her fiftieth birthday, Pamela Druckerman’s life has stalled. She was in her early thirties when she moved to Paris, married a dashing fellow journalist, and became a celebrated author. Yet now, it’s her husband who churns out a book a year and wears earplugs around the house. Her adolescent children are more French than American, and her Parisian neighbors haven’t gotten any more welcoming. Once a prolific writer, she has slipped in status to her family’s head of purchasing and quality control.

Tired of feeling unappreciated—and tempted by an unexpected offer from a man from her past—Druckerman decides to try on the famously flexible French approach to monogamy (“What is fidelity, really? Isn’t it to be true to yourself?”). She grants herself a one-off fiftieth birthday present: a secret afternoon with “the banker.”

What ensues is more than she ever expected. Is this radical self-care or relationship suicide? Have honesty-obsessed Americans been approaching coupledom all wrong? Can an American in Paris ever truly become French?

The Monogamy Prize is a disarmingly intimate and deeply funny account of one woman’s passage and a bold exploration of the rules of modern marriage.

Reviews

“Druckerman’s voice is intelligent, charming, witty, and downright funny. It’s like hanging out with a friend over a long, boozy lunch where everyone ends up revealing a little more than they thought they would, but it’s so much fun you can’t wait for the next date.” —Molly Ringwald, actor and author

“Pamela Druckerman has topped herself with this one! She’s always been very good at synthesizing gravity and levity, with a sharp sense of the power of humor to bear us through all of life’s strange twists and disappointments. Here that talent is sharpened, and cutting, like never before. Now it’s as if one of the more colorful characters of Balzac’s The Human Comedy has come alive, but as a character endowed with the one power that great Parisian chronicler always held back from his own creations: deep and real self-knowledge.” —Justin Smith-Ruiu, professor of history and philosophy of science, Université Paris Cité, and author of On Drugs

“God I love this book so much. I burst out laughing at least once a page. The Monogamy Prize is the most delightful, hilarious, sweetly profound book I have read in years. I loved absolutely every word, paragraph, and chapter. Open it right now and read the first sentence, but make sure you have a little time on your hands because you’re not going to put it down until you’re done.” —Ayelet Waldman, author of A Perfect Hand

The Monogamy Prize is a celebration of aging and self-discovery and even of matrimony (if you squint your eyes). I guarantee it will make you laugh and make you think and, quite possibly, cheat on your spouse. It’s Pamela Druckerman’s most intimate book yet and also just so much fun to read.” —Nathan Englander, author of For the Relief of Unbearable Urges

The Monogamy Prize is about the elasticity of marriage, about roads not taken (and then taken), yet it also circles a more unexpected question: Where is home? What lusts and loves, what promises and commitments, what dreams both dashed and revived define the place that you always return to?” —Heidi Julavits, founding editor of The Believer and PEN New England Award–winning author of The Vanishers

“Druckerman is incapable of writing an unfunny sentence. But like all the best humor, this has a thoughtful edge as she navigates her multicultural midlife crisis past the sultry sirens of extra marital sex—and tennis.” —Peter Godwin, author of Exit Wounds

Praise for BRINGING UP BÉBÉ:

“Marvelous . . . Like Julia Child, who translated the secrets of French cuisine, Druckerman has investigated and distilled the essentials of French child-rearing. . . . Druckerman provides fascinating details about French sleep training, feeding schedules and family rituals. But her book's real pleasures spring from her funny, self-deprecating stories. Like the principles she examines, Druckerman isn't doctrinaire.” —NPR

Praise for THERE ARE NO GROWN-UPS:

“There has been remarkably little good writing about this thorny topic but here, with excellent timing, comes Pamela Druckerman’s pitch-perfect and brutally frank There Are No Grown-Ups. . . . She has a reckless candor that can make you laugh and gasp at the same time. . . . As Nora Ephron said, “Everything is copy.” For those of us who regard “I Feel Bad About My Neck” as a bible for the midlife woman, Ephron is simply irreplaceable, but Druckerman is the heir to her impish, unembarrassable spirit and adorable storytelling.” —The New York Times Book Review

Author

© Dmitry Kostyukov
Pamela Druckerman is a journalist and the author of five books including Bringing Up Bébé, which has been translated into thirty-one languages and optioned as a feature film. She wrote the Dress Code column for The Economist’s 1843 magazine, and a monthly column about France for The New York Times, where she won an Emmy and an Overseas Press Club award. Her work has also appeared in The Atlantic, Harper’s Magazine, The New York Review of Books, and The Wall Street Journal. Her most recent book is There Are No Grown-Ups: A Midlife Coming-of-Age Story. View titles by Pamela Druckerman
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