Why You're Still Single

Things Your Friends Would Tell You if You Promised Not to Get Mad

Why You’re Still Single is not about chasing men, so you will not need a butterfly net. It is not about making them chase you, because they are not wolves and you are not a bunny. Relationship experts Evan Marc Katz and Linda Holmes do not suggest that you treat men like hostile alien presences, pretend you don’t understand football, buy padded bras, or refuse to call people back. But the benefit of other people’s experience might point out a few things that are tripping you up, no matter how much of an amazing, smart, hot, totally worthwhile ass-kicker you may be as a general rule.

They recommend: Honesty (usually), playing fair, shutting up (sometimes), speaking up (other times), respecting that voice in your head that says "You’re doing WHAT?", making compromises, knowing when to cut bait, good sex, giving yourself a break, being needlessly generous, and periodically leaving your apartment.

They don’t recommend: Pretending to like what you don’t like, treating winking and giggling like a Get Out Of Jail Free card, testing people, stubbornness, martyrdom, talking everything to death, and convincing yourself that you’re desperate.
“A must-read for all singles! This book is like one big ‘Aha!’ moment.”—Rachel Greenwald, author of Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School
 
“In a market where so many dating guides offer up humor and glibness in lieu of genuine wisdom and insight, Why You’re Still Single puts itself at the head of the class by proving it’s possible to let readers laugh while they learn. Linda Holmes deploys a voice that is savvy and assured, while Evan Marc Katz writes with an honesty that makes you want to believe that the ‘E’ in his company E-Cyrano must surely stand for Empathy.”—Dr. Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First and Be HonestYou’re Not That into Him Either
 
“In this distinctive approach to the dating game, Katz, founder of an online dating consulting service, and columnist Holmes team up to help readers become aware of their actions to prevent repeating mistakes. They cite such dating turnoffs as trash talking the opposite sex, playing games, and nursing grudges. Gender-specific annoyances addressed include a woman’s tendency to overtalk and overanalyze conversations and a man’s tendency to give advice but not to take it. Mixing humor with practical tips, the authors pack a lot of relevant information into this slim volume, through which both young men and young women will enjoy thumbing. Recommended.”—Library Journal Reviews
 
“A book by two astute, exceptionally observant single people who discuss the ways that they and other single people manage to stay single… Any woman currently in the throes of singlehood who is looking to change her state could benefit from reading this book.” —The Flatland Oracles
Evan Marc Katz is the founder of E-Cyrano, a premier online dating consultant service now teamed up with JDate. He has been interviewed on Fox, CNN, NPR, and appeared in USA Today. View titles by Evan Marc Katz
© Cassidy DuHon
Linda Holmes is a novelist, a pop culture correspondent for NPR, and one of the hosts of the popular podcast Pop Culture Happy Hour, which has held sold-out live shows in New York, Los Angeles, Washington, D.C., and elsewhere. She appears regularly on NPR radio shows including Morning Edition, All Things Considered, and Weekend Edition. Before NPR, she wrote for New York magazine online and for TV Guide, as well as for the groundbreaking website Television Without Pity. Her first novel, Evvie Drake Starts Over, was a New York Times bestseller. In her free time, she watches far too many romantic comedies, bakes bread, plays with her wonderful dog, and tries to keep various plants thriving. View titles by Linda Holmes

About

Why You’re Still Single is not about chasing men, so you will not need a butterfly net. It is not about making them chase you, because they are not wolves and you are not a bunny. Relationship experts Evan Marc Katz and Linda Holmes do not suggest that you treat men like hostile alien presences, pretend you don’t understand football, buy padded bras, or refuse to call people back. But the benefit of other people’s experience might point out a few things that are tripping you up, no matter how much of an amazing, smart, hot, totally worthwhile ass-kicker you may be as a general rule.

They recommend: Honesty (usually), playing fair, shutting up (sometimes), speaking up (other times), respecting that voice in your head that says "You’re doing WHAT?", making compromises, knowing when to cut bait, good sex, giving yourself a break, being needlessly generous, and periodically leaving your apartment.

They don’t recommend: Pretending to like what you don’t like, treating winking and giggling like a Get Out Of Jail Free card, testing people, stubbornness, martyrdom, talking everything to death, and convincing yourself that you’re desperate.

Reviews

“A must-read for all singles! This book is like one big ‘Aha!’ moment.”—Rachel Greenwald, author of Find a Husband After 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School
 
“In a market where so many dating guides offer up humor and glibness in lieu of genuine wisdom and insight, Why You’re Still Single puts itself at the head of the class by proving it’s possible to let readers laugh while they learn. Linda Holmes deploys a voice that is savvy and assured, while Evan Marc Katz writes with an honesty that makes you want to believe that the ‘E’ in his company E-Cyrano must surely stand for Empathy.”—Dr. Ian Kerner, author of She Comes First and Be HonestYou’re Not That into Him Either
 
“In this distinctive approach to the dating game, Katz, founder of an online dating consulting service, and columnist Holmes team up to help readers become aware of their actions to prevent repeating mistakes. They cite such dating turnoffs as trash talking the opposite sex, playing games, and nursing grudges. Gender-specific annoyances addressed include a woman’s tendency to overtalk and overanalyze conversations and a man’s tendency to give advice but not to take it. Mixing humor with practical tips, the authors pack a lot of relevant information into this slim volume, through which both young men and young women will enjoy thumbing. Recommended.”—Library Journal Reviews
 
“A book by two astute, exceptionally observant single people who discuss the ways that they and other single people manage to stay single… Any woman currently in the throes of singlehood who is looking to change her state could benefit from reading this book.” —The Flatland Oracles

Author

Evan Marc Katz is the founder of E-Cyrano, a premier online dating consultant service now teamed up with JDate. He has been interviewed on Fox, CNN, NPR, and appeared in USA Today. View titles by Evan Marc Katz
© Cassidy DuHon
Linda Holmes is a novelist, a pop culture correspondent for NPR, and one of the hosts of the popular podcast Pop Culture Happy Hour, which has held sold-out live shows in New York, Los Angeles, Washington, D.C., and elsewhere. She appears regularly on NPR radio shows including Morning Edition, All Things Considered, and Weekend Edition. Before NPR, she wrote for New York magazine online and for TV Guide, as well as for the groundbreaking website Television Without Pity. Her first novel, Evvie Drake Starts Over, was a New York Times bestseller. In her free time, she watches far too many romantic comedies, bakes bread, plays with her wonderful dog, and tries to keep various plants thriving. View titles by Linda Holmes